Becci’s Invitation to Kay & I
Hi Kay, sorry for the late notice.
Alma isn’t in school today, as we’ve been at the doctor’s. She has constipation and has a prescription for laxatives so school has advised keeping her home until she gets used to going to the toilet again.
Just wanted to let you know so you didn’t turn up to sports day xxx
Kay
Sorry to hear that. Based on your reply I would not have come anyway. You see Becci nether I or Derek are upset at your claimed distancing. I agree with Derek that the distancing has been on our part. You make it sound as though Derek is at fault. He is not. All the time you feel that a resolve is not possible. What you did was fundamentally wrong and until you understand that we will have to remain at a distance. I am sorry, I wish it were different but it is not.
Becci
It makes me sad that for the sake of Alma, neither of you would be able to put our differences aside for the sake of a few hours to enjoy Alma’s achievements, however if that is a choice yourself and Derek are choosing to make, I, can’t say I understand, or agree. It doesn’t mean, either that I will stop inviting you both to events in Alma’s life that I feel you should both enjoy. It is however, your choice whether you choose to accept these invitations.
Regardless of the situation between us or my feelings towards either of you or your feelings towards me, you are still first and foremost her grandparents, and you should have a relationship with her and be able to enjoy her achievements and celebrate her life events and I don’t believe it is fair that what has happened between us should mean that you miss out.
We are all going to hold different views and opinions on who is at fault for the past, and that is ok, things hurt people in different ways.
Kay
We had a lovely relationship. You could have invited us for dinner and discussed your grievances with us and we could have amicably discussed it, however, you choose to “love” the most disgusting message that I have ever read about my victimised husband. That really hurt him that you were capable of that. Now consider that my children have so cruelly excluded us from our grandchildren surely you can understand the pain and suffering that has caused us and why we no longer trust the comment that you put that you are distancing yourself from Derek. For what? He did nothing it was you who pressed the love button. He had the greatest respect for you. You are responsible for inflicting the most painful kick into his groan that he has ever received. We love Alma very much but are frightened of being set up for another painful kick. Derek is seriously ill with his sugar so I do not want him to go through this again at any cost. I do not know for how long I have him. He was in hospital for three weeks and nearly died twice. Where were you then, where was Alma, or Donny, or Jacob. He is getting tired of his persecutions so maybe, as someone with more time then he has, you should go the extra mile for the sake of a sick old man and his wife.
Becci
This conversation has deviated which, maybe naively, I had hoped would not happen, as I hoped it would remain focused on Alma. However, I can see that the anger towards me cannot be put aside for her sake.
I’ve tried to be the bigger person here by asking you Alma’s sports day, which unfortunately she wasn’t able to go too as she isn’t well. I’ve also made it clear that I won’t ever stop either of you coming to any events, like her birthday parties, nativities, Christmas concerts, any things like that she has going on. Whether you choose to accept, is entirely on the two of you, but I will not be blamed should you both choose not to come.
If you have a problem with Donny and Jacob, I’m afraid you will need to take that up with them, I cannot and will not speak for their actions. They are their own people with their own minds, beliefs and act on their own autonomy and neither are influenced in any way by me.
I asked you to stop contacting me so please respect that.
If you have a problem with them, take it up with them.
We Did Our Best 