I LOVE THIS ANALOGY:
You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere.
Why did you spill the coffee?
“Because someone bumped into me!!!”
Wrong answer.
You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup.
Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea.
Whatever is inside the cup is what will spill out.
Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It’s easy to fake it, until you get rattled.
So we have to ask ourselves… “what’s in my cup?”
When life gets tough, what spills over?
Joy, gratitude, peace and humility?
Anger, bitterness, victim mentality and quitting-tendencies?
Life provides the cup, YOU choose how to fill it.
Today let’s work towards filling our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation, resilience, positivity; and kindness, gentleness and love for others.
MY RESPONSE
I agree Jenny, someone should tell my children that. Sadly, it is unrealistic and paints a picture of a utopia, which will only be found in heaven, after the day of judgement is finished. It will leave you vulnerable to the fiery darts of Satan if you believe that is possible. You will be unprotected. I implore you, as your friend, to realise that what you dream of is not tenable in this world right now. It is too evil. You will be used and abused if you believe this utopia is possible. God gave us his word to help us protect ourselves for we wrestle not against flesh and blood. against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. So concerned was he with our welfare and happiness that He gave us the following scripture in Ephesians 6:10-18. Read by the Spirit of God, It is a frightening scripture.
Ephesians 6:10-18
King James Version
10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;
15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;
16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:
18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; Principalities and powers in the Bible are levels of demons or the presence of demonic activity. These beings are real, and their primary goal is to kill, injure, worry, destroy, vex, harass, irritate, confuse, frustrate, and bother humans. This is all to get back at God for kicking the devil out of Heaven (Luke 10:18) and sealing his fate to hell and then transference into the lake of fire. Satan’s principalities and powers are beings that wield power in the unseen realms to oppose everything and everyone that belongs to the Lord. The only way that the believer can ward off Satan’s attacks is to go back to who they already are in Christ. I would like to think that my cup is full of compassion, enmity against Satan, empathy for mankind, humility, love and forbearance. I am a victim simply because Satan is the God of this world right now and he victimizes all of its inhabitants. I try to wear the FULL Armor of God to ward off the victimisations of Satan.
Last verse, today let’s work towards filing our cups with gratitude, forgiveness, joy, words of affirmation, resilience, positivity and kindness, gentleness and Love for others…. This is exactly what we are told to do, become more Christ like. It’s not at all unrealistic, it’s the attitude I try every day to do. X
If it is realistic, as you say, why are Croatians being killed everyday the result of Satan’s control of a despot. The armor of God is the antidote to it, if it were not it would not be in the words of God
I choose what attitude I have and you and everyone chooses their attitudes, I’m mind boggled how this is being twisted out of context!
Jenny RingsteadI do not see the twisting you refer to. I am quoting scripture and the words of a prophet. If anything is being twisted it is Gemma, and Sue and you. You are suggesting that I am against joy, happiness, kindness and positivity and my home is not a little bit of heaven here on earth. That is not me, I have said that I would like to think that my cup is full of compassion, enmity against Satan, empathy for mankind, humility, love and forbearance, so it is a twist. I am simply quoting the relevance of the armor of God to you because you are tempting Satan with your words. Please read the scripture. It says it all.
Derek Smartmy mum and my daughter are not twisting anything nor referring to you but to my post. My post is talking about how we respond to situations. Not once did I or anyone else suggest that you are against Joy etc, or about your home life. STOP IT, this is not about you Derek or your family or your situation. I’m shocked beyond belief that you can possibly read this post as something against you. Just stop it!
Jenny RingsteadYour post is an adaptation of the parable of what you sow is what you reap. I responded to that in a uncontentious manner. You said, without reference, that someones cup could be full of anger, bitterness, victim mentality and quitting tendances, which, easily refers to me and the feud in my family. You, more then anyone, knows what we had to endure with my family. Could saying that, knowing I would read it, have been a little insensitive. Is it really hard for you to believe that your words here could all to easily refer to me and our position, really? For two of your immediate family and another one of those church members who have never spoken to me, to then bolster your words, unsolicited and unnecessarily, only makes my obvious paranoia worse and creates a mob mentality scenario to me, remembering that I am sat at home one day and notice i had a friends request that turned into a full scale war of words. I was targeted by Saran. With all due respects I could easily say STOP IT. Stop being insensitive when you know you have friends like me to whom your words fit so perfectly. I earnestly have great difficulty in understanding why my words might shock you. I know you are more empathetic and understanding then that. I am afraid that It is about me. What ever you write on a public forum will be relevant to someone, in a positive or negative way. This, and many other words, fit me like a glove. But forget all of that. You were exposing yourself to Satan and challenging his ethos. I was simply warning you of what you were doing and used the scripture of the Armor of God to demonstrate how to handle the almost certain retributions of Satan. I did not question the sentiment. I was caring knowing the reality of Satan.
There is absolutely nothing about this post that anyone should find offensive. It does not talk about sowing what you reap but about what type of person we chose to be. This post is clearly a post I liked and agree with that I then decided to put on my OWN page and have every right too. If I had written it myself, my cup would contain hot chocolate
If you find this post is referring to you, then only you can change what’s coming out of your cup. If my post causes you offence, then I can only apologise to you for seeing what NO ONE else can see. If your cup is just full of only the negative things mentioned, then only you can work on that. This post is not about you and never was.
Jenny Ringstead Putting things in a cup is a similitude of putting the seed in the ground. Spilling it’s content is a similitude of reaping. Although it is on your page it is sent to me automatically and becomes public. Anything we say on Facebook has the potential of offending or pleasing. It is a natural process. You know the difficulties your friend has had so perhaps you should have been mindful of the words you used. Could this offend anyone is a question we must all ask ourselves when using a public forum, that was your advice to me. It is all to obvious that is exactly what has happened. I am offended by words that could have easily referred to me, especially given my circumstances. It is not the first time this has happened. Even hot chocolate can burn if too hot. If no one else sees it why did I get two likes withing minutes of posting it. Just because a thousand people smoke cigarettes does not make smoking good for you. It is not in the numbers, the mob attitude, but in the individuals heart and my heart was saying, watch out Jenny, you are challenging Satan. But enough now. I will mind my own business in future, which is effectively what you are saying, and try not to care so much. It is funny that you have not mentioned the scripture I gave you.
“To be offended is a choice we make, it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.” David A Bedbar
Jenny Ringstead You’re choosing to be offended” is not an excuse for our offensive or insensitive behavior A choice is an act of choosing between two or more possibilities. “the choice between good and evil” you provided the median of choice for me to take.That is the choice I made. I can attribute that to a general authority if you like. David A Bedhar received a lot of poor reviews for this talk. Everything we do is a choice but you need two or more choices to make and it is your words that provided me with the choice I made. Best not to provide the choice in the first place so that there is nothing to choose from. To be selective in what you say is your choice as well. You choose the words you said and i choose to be offended by them. Who is right and who is wrong. If you did not say it i would have no choice and we would not be contending about it, as Satan wants us to do in order to keep me, Kay and Steven away from church this morning. It would be interesting to put David A Bedhar’s words back into context.
Are We Misusing the Phrase “You’re Choosing to Be Offended”? — Dr. Julie Hanks
Sometimes “choosing to be offended” is an appropriate and healthy response When we use the phrase “you’re choosing to be offended” there is often an implicit (or explicit) assumption that being offended is always a bad thing. There are situations where an appropriate, even healthy response is to be intensely offended by something or someone. Abusive behavior, manipulative behavior, disrespectful comments and putdowns are just a few examples of times where feeling angry, resentful, and upset is a healthy response. In my clinical practice, I’ve seen many LDS people gloss over, minimize, or ignore certain behaviors that are offensive in an effort to be (or appear to be) “forgiving” to avoid conflict, and a myriad of other reasons. I recall working with a client who had been abused by a neighbor (also a ward member) when she was nine years old. She had told her parents about the abuse a few years after the incidences had occurred. They told her that what happened was wrong and instructed her not to go to the neighbor’s house anymore. “They didn’t really seem upset by it.” My client wanted her parents to be offended, to be horrified by the abuse that had occurred. Because they didn’t show intense negative emotion or take additional action (like report the abuse to authorities, talk to the neighbors, discuss it with their church leaders, etc.) my client experienced a sense of aloneness and believed that her parents didn’t think it was really a “big deal. (Exactly how I felt when I told you about the exclusion from my children.) ”The misuse of the phrase “you’re choosing to be offended” can create distance rather than connection in our families, wards, and communities. It can prevent us from important information about ourselves when we use it to deflect responsibility. It can be used to minimize someone else’s pain. When we become aware that someone has taken offense to something we’ve said or done, rather than labeling them as “easily offended,” we would be wise to ask ourselves these questions:
- What was my contribution to their experience of feeling offended?
- Was I being insensitive or manipulative in a way that I might not recognize?
- Is this relational pattern that would be helpful for me to explore?
- What can I learn from this interaction that will help me to be more sensitive, compassionate and Christ-like?
You’re choosing to be offended” is counsel to apply to ourselves, not to apply to others. It is an excuse for what you have said, now, enough is enough. Just be more mindful in what you say publicly in case it might offend. STOP IT.
Are We Misusing the Phrase “You’re Choosing to Be Offended”? — Dr. Julie Hanks
I think that’s lovely, mum. It never hurts to remind yourself to focus on joy, happiness, kindness and positivity. Xxx
Jemma Porter I totally agree Jemma, love you xxx
Jenny Ringstead love you more xxx
Jemma Porter love you most
xxx
i think some people in this thread need to be a bit more respectful to their elders especially those who are ill, just be a bit more empathetic please and don’t start shouting either its really contentious. just in case you didn’t know using capital letters in a text means you are shouting
Lucy Evans
I’m fuming reading some of these comments!!!!!!!
Lucy EvansWhat comments are causing you to be fuming only there are no comments that are contentious. Is it because your mum is involed only I responded to her public post I did not answer to you. You are joining the mob culture.
I am being serious, tell me what was said to cause you to be fuming.
I’m not gunna stoop to your level Derek and start making comments on Facebook! I have better things to do with my life! But I will say this when you see a post or a comment that may not make sense or you don’t agree with don’t make such a big deal about it , do something better with your time , obviously got alot of it to waste!
I can’t believe what I am reading from such an innocent post! Love you Mummy Llantwit
xxx
Taylor JA NatashaWhat exactly are you reading. Why are you allowing the strangers to speak to me like that Jenny
If anyone thinks that Jenny would ever put anything to offend anyone with intent you clearly don’t know her.
Natasha JonesI did not think that, unless you can quote me, or are you lying in loyalty
I am sorry to hear that and admire your fortitude, however, if you read my responce you can see that my concern was for the flamboyant way that Jenny was teasing Satan into doing something about her rebellion towards him. I gave her a very poignant scripture to arm herself with armor of good, purely in concern for her. Satan is a very real pers
Derek SmartI’ve just looked on your profile and saw your status regarding your kids. If you have personal issues then fine, I suggest you sort them on your own terms in your own privacy. Jenny is one of the most kind hearted women you’ll ever meet and what is NOT okay is your blatant bullying towards Jenny and any of her family or friends on this post. Jenny has shared a thread that is an interpretation to all of us and you’ve taken it upon yourself to insinuate she’s using it as a means to comment on your private matter and your now taking it upon yourself to comment back to her friends and family in an insulting manner. There is nothing but love from us all on this status and you’re coming on here throwing negativity when it isn’t needed or wanted. The whole aim of what Jenny shared is that we choose whether to fill ourselves with love or bitterness when we’re going through tough times and we choose what emotions to overfill ourselves with. My son’s about to be diagnosed with a disability and we’ve just learned he can’t go to a mainstream school.. I’m not sitting here bitter that my son can’t do what most children his age can, I’m full of nothing but love because I get to be a parent to such an incredible child with an incredible mind.. the status is to remind everyone that even in negative situations, there is still so much to be thankful for and we should be kinder to ourselves and others. If you interpret that different then fine, but what isn’t okay is the way your choosing to carry yourself towards others on this status. Everyone’s going through something so just be kind
Ellis-Mae RowlandsThis not our first altercation over my need to vent on fcebook. Just a couple of weeks ago we had the same sort of altercation
again, your kind words, about Jenny, though true, is making her vunerable and bringing her to the attention of Satan, who seeks desperately to distroy people like her. You are causing more harm then good by interferring in something that has nothing to do with you. I did not contact you, you contacted me. If you did not we would not be contending on this wonderful sunny day and I would still be friends with jenny. Hope you are all proud of yourselves.
Ellis-Mae RowlandsI’ve just looked on your profile and saw your status regarding your kids.
Well, I do not know what you mean by status.
If you have personal issues then fine, I suggest you sort them on your own terms in your own privacy.
I do just that. What makes you feel otherwise. I am not complaining here I am defending.
Jenny is one of the most kind hearted women you’ll ever meet and
And that is why I was protecting her from the fiery darts of Satan. Satan loves to bring down people like Jenny and he does it all to subtly.
what is NOT okay is your blatant bullying towards Jenny and any of her family or friends on this post.
You would have to show me where I have bullied her, if it is blatant you should have no problems showing me. Only I do not know what you are taking about
Jenny has shared a thread that is an interpretation to all of us
Jenny has shared a quote from an unknown person that closely resembles the parable about sowing and reaping. She has shared that with me via her audience of friends. I have the right, therefore, to comment on it.
and you’ve taken it upon yourself to insinuate she’s using it as a means to comment on your private matter
Number one, I received this post from Jenny giving me the right to comment on it as I see fit. Number 2, I never mentioned any private matters until Jenny mentioned them first, as follows. She spoke with an air of contention using capitals to shout at me and said, I Quote
“Not once did I or anyone else suggest that you are against Joy etc, Not once did I or anyone else suggest that you are against Joy etc, or about your home life. STOP IT, this is not about you Derek “or your family or your situation”. I’m shocked beyond belief that you can possibly read this post as something against you. Just stop it!”
This was the first time it was mentioned and brought into the discussion, by Jenny not me. My previous post did mention “Home” but I was quoting Sue. It was also the first contentious remark. What does that mean. It means that your assumption that I insinuated she’s using it as a means to comment on your private matter is incorrect. She did introduce it and used it.
and your now taking it upon yourself to comment back to her friends and family in an insulting manner.
That is your interpretation. I am talking plainly in response to their innuendos and slurs.
There is nothing but love from us all on this status and you’re coming on here throwing negativity when it isn’t needed or wanted.
Again, you will have to explain yourself as I believe the gist of what I was saying was positive and for Jenny’s benefit.
The whole aim of what Jenny shared is that we choose whether to fill ourselves with love or bitterness when we’re going through tough times and we choose what emotions to overfill ourselves with. My son’s about to be diagnosed with a disability and we’ve just learned he can’t go to a mainstream school.. I’m not sitting here bitter that my son can’t do what most children his age can, I’m full of nothing but love because I get to be a parent to such an incredible child with an incredible mind.
I am sorry to hear that and can only sympathise with you. I have a grandson in a similar position that I am not allowed to see. I have13 grandchildren who have been excluded by my children. But you do not know my story. You do not know what I have had to endure. If you did I promise you that you would not have sent this.
the status is to remind everyone that even in negative situations, there is still so much to be thankful for and we should be kinder to ourselves and others.
I agree.
If you interpret that differently than fine, but what isn’t okay is the way your choosing to carry yourself towards others on this status. Everyone’s going through something so just be kind
You contacted me, I did not contact you. I do not know you. I was having a civilized conversation with Jenny until her family joined it. I am sure that missy would have joined in but I had to block her because of the horrendous post about me by a mentally ill woman, that she said she loved, which was hard because we used to look after her when she was a young child and I have not spoken to her for many years so she had no reason to love such a horrible post.
Look, you do not know me. You do not know how my family have been treated by the LDS church, You do not know how we have been treated by our children and you do not know what losing them has done to us. Like Job we have not done anything but to tell it like it is. Jenny has at times deflected our moans about it. We have no one. Most of our families have passed on and we are just waiti
on. He has infiltrated my childrens life and caused them to sin against God. My children have chosen to exclude their parents and brother from their lives. It is not my choice, I want to talk to them. A prophet of God has told the congregation of the church not to give others the silent treatment. My children have disobeyed his words. I am ready to comply. God has said, that is God not Jesus Christ, that we should honour our parents. I tried to stop talking to my parents and lasted 3 hours before i asked them to forgive me. Elliott blanks Kay and I at church, is that honouring his parents? We are told to love one another. I sat in a hospital bed for three weeks and nearly died. My children showed me no empathy. Is that love. My children hold me accountable for the way two young people raised them. Is that forgiving seventy times seven. That is five Gospel Principles flagrantly contravened by my children. My sin is public acclamation of my efforts to keep the commandments of God. Yet people still assert that my stance is at fault. The only ones who read my post are good frends and family. It seems as though their cups need a lid to stop toxicity from spilling out that will only burn the gullible and my grandchidren. My spillage is inert.
Derek Smartwhat you need to be asking yourself is what have YOU done for your children to blank you. I have done nothing to warrañt such extreme behaviour. Leave Jenny, her friends and family alone now. No, her friends need to leave me alone This is not the time nor the place to be airing your dirty laundry on fb. This is Jennys fb and she can post as she sees fit. If you choose to take an offence, then that is on you.
The Lord I know and love would be ashamed of this behaviour. That is all I will say on this matter now as I can’t bare to sit back and watch you play the victim.
Enough now. Go and practice some Christ like behaviour.
Taylor JA Natasha Go and practice some Christ like behaviour. – That was what i was doing before you falsely accused me of doing something i did not do
Leave Jenny, her friends and family alone now. OK.
It all needs to stop know because what started out with Derek and Jenny speaking to each other has come to a bullying match , with Jenny’s children and family on to one person . I can’t feel the spirit when reading this text . Derek and Jenny has been friends for years years between the two of them they will work it out.
I would like to think that my cup is full of compassion, enmity against Satan, empathy for mankind, humility, love and forbearance. I am a victim simply because Satan is the God of this world right now and he victimizes all of its inhabitants. I try to wear the FULL Armor of God to ward off the victimisations of Satan. There exists a blatant disrespect and disregard for the principles and standards of the Gospel. This will come from within the Lords church, as prophesied in scriptures.
In conclusion. My children have chosen to exclude their parents and brother from their lives. It is not my choice, I want to talk to them. A prophet of God has told the congregation of the church not to give others the silent treatment. My children have disobeyed his words. I am ready to comply. God has said, that is God not Jesus Christ, that we should honour our parents. I tried to stop talking to my parents and lasted 3 hours before i asked them to forgive me. Elliott blanks Kay and I at church, is that honouring his parents? We are told to love one another. I sat in a hospital bed for three weeks and nearly died. My children showed me no empathy. My church showed me no support. Is that love. My children hold me accountable for the way two young people raised them. Is that forgiving seventy times seven. That is five Gospel Principles flagrantly contravened by m
We Did Our Best 