July 10th 2023
Dear Kimberley,
You have fast reached the age of womanhood and have been estranged from your grandparents for many years now. We are all upset that you have not sought us out to get our interpretation of the events that took place leading to that estrangement for so long. I am sorry that as reasonable adults we could not reconcile our differences before it got out of hand. We are different people now, as, no doubt, so are you. You are a woman now and will understand the situation far better now then you might have when you we 15.
Please consider, Kimberly, that we have six wonderful children with only two of them deciding to adopt this repugnant action with us. Indeed, we are consider to be, a normal family with normal, moral values who are close and happy by those in the church. This week I had a message sent to me by a church member that read, “I have no idea of any issue any of you have with each other and it makes me sad you and Kay are suffering so much. What I do know Derek, is that you know the Gospel is true, you know how much Heavenly Father our Saviour loves you, so keep strong in your faith regardless of upset You are really important to so many and loved by so many. You are not a bad person. Don’t let Satan see your pain, don’t let him win. You are so important, never forget that. Not all members run to the door to greet us on Sunday, but most are very welcoming and kind to us. We are not the perpetrators of disharmony; we are the victims.
We have an absolutely wonderful granddaughter, Alma, who is the cutest little thing who I do not think you have ever met, simply because your father had little time for his brother. She adores her Nan and Granddad. Her brothers Lehi, Jacob and Zack, are very loving and respectful to us. Good boys. You do, of course know Jonah and Joel our baby girls’ boys, who are wonderful boys who love their Nan, Granddad and Steven, and, of course Zack and Jude. Zach needs a stable family unit right now, not warring tribes. We see them all every week, sometimes more, and have a happy relationship with them. What did we do to cause such a huge rift in the family. I did nothing personally, aside from becoming ill. If I were not an active member of the church I might conclude that in some way the church is partially responsible for the break down in our relationship, or, at least, misinterpretations of the scriptures and most certainly a severe lack of communication and inaccurate assumptions.
What we lack and very much miss in our lives is you and your siblings. We know nothing about you as you only know what you have been told, for we were never much included in your lives. As we enter into the final episode of our lives, we are now considering serving the Lord in our final years and we did not really want to go with this situation still active. Please do not leave this world with out absolute knowledge of this feud and what caused it to come about. Be prepared for eternity with the absolute truth your companion. To find out when you get there will be disconcerting for you. None of these differences between us should have transpired in the rejection of the Olive Branch that I gave to your father. He told me that maybe we can reconcile this on the other side, however, the consequences of refusing to forgive and forget may be too severe for that to happen. I hope not but the scripture is clear on that. Nothing that any of us have done should be met with such dire and damaging exclusions. You should know that one of the honest truths are that most of the Smart family disagree with this behaviour as being cruel and unkind. Most members of the Bridgend branch wholly disagree with it and the rest are holders with Elliott’s version of the truth, whatever that may be. Just a hand full of them. Not from my words, I have never voiced my opinion, but from the observation of Elliott’s refusal to honour his parents instead of ignoring us. The Prophet in the last conference specifically told those who ignore family and friend to stop it now or face the consequences. The act, he said, is satanic. It causes unrest in the Church and is the will of Satan ot of God. It is a specific sin to dishonour your parents. It is not for us to judge others and punish them with silence. It worries us that your consequences are yet to be realised. I hope it is not to late for you all. You, Kimberly, are old enough to have been to the temple. We should have shared that experience with you, it is a miles stone event that only the HMS Prison Service or death should have prevented. You are our literal seed and the full blessings of the temple will never be yours all the time that there is hostility between us. The Prophet delivered a talk in the last conference that could have been written with you in mind.
Peacemaker Needed by Russel M Nelson
Civility and decency seem to have disappeared during this era of polarization and passionate disagreements. Vulgarity, fault finding, and evil speaking of others are all too common. Too many pundits, politicians, entertainers, and other influencers throw insults constantly. I am greatly concerned that so many people seem to believe that it is completely acceptable to condemn, malign, and vilify anyone who does not agree with them. Many seem eager to damage another’s reputation with pathetic and pithy barbs! Anger never persuades. Hostility builds no one. Contention never leads to inspired solutions. Regrettably, we sometimes see contentious behavior even within our own ranks. We hear of those who belittle their spouses and children, of those who use angry outbursts to control others, and of those who punish family members with the “silent treatment.” We hear of youth and children who bully and of employees who defame their colleagues. My dear brothers and sisters, this should not be. As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are to be examples of how to interact with others—especially when we have differences of opinion. One of the easiest ways to identify a true follower of Jesus Christ is how compassionately that person treats other people. The Savior made this clear in His sermons to followers in both hemispheres. “Blessed are the peacemakers,” He said. “Whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” And then, of course, He gave the admonition that challenges each of us: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” To be told any differently is a blasphemy.
Consider if you will what any of us have done to actually hurt you. What have our mouths said, that you have heard with your own ears, that brings your reputation into question. We have never showed you any animosity or have done a single thing that condemns you in any way. If others have told you any difference than ask us our truth and you will receive it in honesty. When did we ever consider moving several thousand miles away from our family and only daughter, and for what real reason, we simply delayed sending our Christmas presents to you for a month because our dog needed a lifesaving operation. It is sad that your actions against us have caused us all a great deal of emotional turmoil, especially your nan. You could make a difference. Please, speak to her before it is too late. I have to have tests for suspected Alzheimer so will eventually forget who you are. Please do not leave our relationship under a cloud of disharmony for us. Elliott has been told by the bishop to make it right as his actions bring disharmony to the ward when father and son sit behind each other and do not communicate in the least of ways. We love you Kimberly, you are blood of my blood and seed of my seed. For that reason it is not possible not to love you and a heinous sin to try and keep you from family who love you and care about you. It is nothing short of cruel and the consequences of which will be equally as severe. Pray about it Kimberly and we shall come to an understanding of the entirety of the situation through the power and discernment of the Holy Ghost.
Love You.
Nan, grandad, Steven and all of your family.
We Did Our Best 