We Did Our Best

If ever you send me a message again addressed to Derek I will not open it because your intentions are clearly hostile
If you weren’t abusive can you please explain all of these?
Firstly, why are you contacting me for. In case you are not aware of it, there were two people that raised you, although our feelings are one and the same it does not mean you have toʻ contact me. It was a joint venture.
Yes, I can explain all of these, but none of them justify your action against me and your mum. None of these points denote abuse some are bordering on trivial, inconsequential moans and wines.

• running up the stairs and giving me a beating (or a hiding as you called it). Numerous times. Getting ‘back-handed’ in the face.
  I have no recollection of back handing anyone, ever, in my life. I only smacked my first three children because I was conditioned to believe that was the right thing to do by my parents. I did not like doing it but thought that I would be a failure if I did not. By the time Steven came along I had ceased that practice and never smacked the last three of my children. I most certainly did not beat any of them. I think you are being less than truthful.
• Grabbing me by the hair and dragging me in the house
  Yes, something like that happened, I did not drag you anywhere, as you intentionally say to make it sound like you were on the floor being dragged. I was not in the habit of dragging my children into the house for no good reason. Your mother wanted be to stop you going out so I pulled you into the house by your ponytail. Without going into too much depth, you were being extraordinarily naughty to mum and I and I was shocked into a temper and preventing you from going out with your unsavoury friends at the time
• Throwing hot food on me when I didn’t like it
  I cannot believe how you have twisted this. It is like a whole different story. “The food was cold.” You had argued with me so much that it went cold. You did not know if you did not like it because you refused to eat it any of it. We were never rich back then so at times me and your mum would go without so you did not have to. It was an expensive meal, beef stroganoff, so your stubbornness meant a waste of much needed money and I went without so you could have it, but you refused to even try it, so, once again, I rubbed it in your face, I did not throw it. I intentionally rubbed it into your face, with my bare hands, so I know it was not hot, I did that to prevent you from being hurt by throwing it. But what I find bizarre is how wrong you have it. If it was that traumatic, which I do not think it was, why have you got it so wrong. Once again you were being extraordinarily naughty and that was your punishment. It is called parenting.
• Waking up to strangers in my bed and then having to share my bedroom with women I didn’t know so you could make money on housing benefits
  I was your father. I had to provide for you. To do that I had to have money. I got part of it by legally and lawfully claiming Housing Benefit. That was my right and I would have been a fool not to claim what was legally and lawfuly mine to claim in order to assist in the running of the house. Secondly, the person in your room was destitute and had no where to go. As Christians, we are duty bound to help those who stand in need of help. She came to our home for help whilst you were asleep, which is why you woke up to her being in your room. This was all explained to you at the time and although you did not like it you accepted it as a unusual situation and we all put up with it for a short period.
• Going on a night out and telling me you were going to the shop. I was 11 and left in the house with 3 small children. I phoned the police because I was so worried which you then screamed at me for doing.
  Going on a night out was it? Like we all got ready and left when you weŕe not looking, to go to a night club. You make it sound like it was planned but there were mitigating circumstances. We did originally go to the shop. Me, mum, Derek, Donny and Brendon Forrest. 5 of us went to the shop and whilst we were there Derek, Donny and Brendon suggested to go to the nightclub for an hour. Mum and I did not want to but the bullied us into taking them. It was a bad decision. We should not have gone, however, we considered that you were responsible enough to take care of the children and took that decision to go, wrongly or rightly. You question why I shouted at you, really. I shouted because I was angry about the possible consequences of your action. When we got back home all three children were in bed, asleep, and you were fine. Minutes after that the police arrived and by careful discussions they saw nothing untowards to report. They left and I shouted at you for doubting your mum and dad and ringing the police. Our judgement that you were capable of taking care of your syblings was justified but in retrospect we should not have capitulated to their peruasion and gone to the night club. We never made that mistake again. It was a poor decision not an abuse. We were not perfect, if that is what you thought. We made lots of mistakes.
• Being left to look after 3 small children all the time whilst you and mum would go out for food etc.
  This is a bit ambiguous. Do you mean to a restaurant or to get food shopping Or pop to the local shop. I just asked mum this and she said that she can never, ever remember going out to a restaurant and leaving you home to babysit. I agree with her, not once did that ever happen. Did we go to the local shop, yes, we probably did to get something for you and the other three children. But that took minutes and we knew that you were capable of looking after them for a few minutes. There is nothing wrong there, certainly no abuse when you had the sweets. Anyway, if you mean food shopping, we did leave them with you but found out that you had punched Steven in the stomach and put makeup on him and took him to the shop across the road to embarrass him. We never left them home with you ever again. I did not even remember that until mum just told me. You were 12 years old at the time and perfectly capable of looking after them whilst we did other household chores. You just never really wanted to help out. But why are you pointing your figure at me. These were joint decisions made by your mother and your father yet I am the abuser. I worked. I did what was expected of me. I provided.
• not being allowed to use your computer to do my college assignments – I had to walk to the library everyday.
  Not just you, none of your siblings were allowed on my University/Works computer. I was in University. All of my university work was on my computer. I could not take the risk of you inadvertently wiping my work off of it. The library was just down the road. It was not a big inconvenience for you to go there and the environment was probably more conducive to your study. If there would have been a potential for you not to be able to use the library then we would have provided an alternative, if not you may have some justification to claim we were abusive by not providing for you, but that never happened. After I finished university my computer was in work with me. This is your lack of empathy again.
• Having to watch you eat takeaways whilst we had no food in the cupboards – no you didn’t buy us fish and chips instead – you left us with nothing!
  I am not going to contend this because according to mum and myself that never happened. She wants more details of when, where and why you feel this happened. You are mistaken, this would have never happened, on the contrary, mum and I frequently went without food to ensure you had food. It is not who we are.
• Moving me to 11 different schools. 4 different secondary school by the end of year 8!
  Again, you figures are exaggerated. We did move around a lot, however, it would only be abuse if we did not send you to school at all. I was in university and living in Shorthold Assured Tenancies for six to twelve months a time. We had no choice. It was an unavoidable sacrifice.
• Kicking off when mum was going to stay downstairs with me to help with my newborn baby that hadn’t long had meningitis because she should be in bed with you
  I was mentally ill. Not abusive.
• Shouting at Oliver when he rang for your help when I was poorly
  I have no recollection of this ever happening. I love my children and know I would have been sympathetic to any illness you might have been suffering. I believe that Oliver could have had an artists paint brush in his hand painting a poor picture of me for you, after all, he did resent me. He was being persistent. We had not long been home from your place and he wanted me to come back down to you. I had no money but he was persistent making me raise my voice. He is obviously more sensitive than I thought he was.
• Fat shaming your children
  What does that mean?
  These are just a very small snapshot of ways you behaved! A few examples of what you have been like towards me without the countless memories my siblings also have.
  Well, if that is all you have to moan about, you do not have much to moan about do you. You need to take a look at real abuse to recognise how good you had it, and still these people did not emancipate there parents. It is all very well you saying “countless memories of your siblings” but without evidence your words are empty and meaningless.
  There memories are not my memories, as half of your list is neither my memories or your mothers memories. Look at my blog to see the truthful rendition of what I was like as a father and not the ones you have conjured up in your mind or twisted out of recognition. I live with the witness of authenticity to my renditions and trust in her memory and judgement. Your list has fundamental errors and that concerns me. Derek has whipped the lead horse of the wagon that you have all created and jumped on and you are all huddled together in your group preventing anyone from falling off but not inviting Steven because he may not agree with you. Steven knows us better than any of you do. His vocabulary does not contain the word “Abuse”
  I mean, saying things like ‘Derek had a problem because I didn’t like sport’
  I have never said that. That is what Derek told his mum.
  Well how about you just started to like it, to support your son and watch him enjoying himself???
  I was working, sometime 18 hours a day. At times I was attending university and working three cleaning jobs to provide for six children that did nothing, and never have done anything to help us out. Sorry, but it has just crossed my mind that you were your mothers daughter. She dotted on you. You were her world and you could not even send her a flower on her 70th birthday or 50th Wedding Anniversary. That is shameful and despicable. How can you question my loyalty as a father when you carelessly do that to you mother. You used to have empathy. You know nothing of what your callous actions have done to your mother. I never had the time. I was earning money to feed you beef stroganoff.
  I’m not being funny, I hated football before the boys got into it but I’ve embraced it, I’ve never missed a training session let alone a game as I want them to feel supported. Always. Where were you? You never took any interest in anything your children did. You never encouraged anything they were good at. You never spent any quality time with any of us. In actual fact, you don’t really KNOW any of us as your relationships with anyone is based solely on you.
  I will tell you where i was, rotorvating someone’s garden, fixing someone’s roof, gravelling someone’s drive, putting an engine into someone’s car, making christmas wreaths, picking potatoes, beans, apples, blackcurrants or peas. Making computers, selling on the market stall, cutting someone’s grass, cleaning someone’s car, putting petrol in someone’s car, cleaning someone’s office, taking a physics lesson, searching the countryside for holly, making soft toys, and on and on. None of which constitutes abuse, but why don’t you know this? I know you hated football but please do not blame your boys because you like it now. Blame Oliver, he is the fanatic. He dresses his boys in football paraphernalia as if they are normal cloths. He takes them to football because that is where he wants to be. It is a shame that he did not have as much enthusiasm for the Mormon church perhaps you would have been different and still had your empathy instead of him researching every negativity about the church and then telling you. Naomi, there is no doubt in my mind, even if he is not aware of it, he has allowed Satan to use him to kick the church out of you, which is why you are in Feniton and not Bridgend. Football is a sport for capitalists and fanatics who see success on the pitch as there own. You were never raised as a capitalist but Oliver’s work has turned him and looks like it is now turning you. Your boys are what you and Oliver made them, fanatics to a game. My kids are what I made them successful independent individuals well integrated into society. I am proud of them and my success in being the best father that I could be, especially on a night club dance floor.
  Elliott went to work with me at 5am in the morning and we worked together until 3pm. We were good friends. I took Derek Donny, Steven tree climbing, fishing, making rope swings, scrumping, scrambling, river swimming, all terrian driving, country walks, shooting, boating, clubbing, snooker, pool, making dens, lighting fires. I was a very good mechanic that inspired Elliott. I have level four maths that inspired Derek, I was a pretty good manufacturer of computers, that inspired Donny, Steven is also following in my footsteps. I am constantly helping him in his studies. Where have you been for you to ask me these ridiculous questions. Have you not taken an interest in what your dad is doing. Are your assumptions the master of your thoughts and facts. You got it all wrong girl or you listen too much to your group on whatsapp.
  I have broken your abusive cycle along with my siblings. We will have children that have happy family memories. Childhoods full of family outings, mingling with close friends, cosy movie nights, sports and activities, holidays (proper holidays not weeks and weeks sat in a car to fulfil your need of being able to say you’ve travelled America – that holiday was pure boredom for me – where were the kids days out and theme park days etc – nowhere to be seen as you wouldn’t of wanted to do that)!
  More insults and abuse from the one crying abuse. You have such a hurtful nasty mouth. Hypocritical, yes. You are wrong, as I have clearly shown right here. I never had an abuse cycle. I raised six children to adulthood, successfully. They have successful careers and are will rounded individual all having a high standard of education. I have wonderful memories of them all as they grew up under mums and my care. None of them have been seriously ill and none have befallen any serious accidents. All of them have been well behaved and respectful up until they met there respective partners, all from broken homes. There parents have been here for them for the entirety of their lives providing a secure environment for them to be raised in. We successfully fed them, clothed them, educated them, gave them moral standards and good manners, cared for them both physically and spiritually, but most importantly we loved them unconditionally. They only complainers is the spoilt brats.
  My boys have an incredible father that dotes on them, spends time with them chatting and laughing for hours. Supports them. Loves them unconditionally. Knows them inside and out. Lifts them up and makes them feel that they are worth their weight in gold. Builds their confidence. Makes sacrifices for them. Goes without for them. Shows them how to treat a wife with respect, love and nurture. I could go on and on… You’re not a great dad because you changed a few nappies and gave your son a drink after he got severely burnt due to your own stupidity. Not even close.
  You sons have a father that brainwashes them in to following his fanaticism and teaches them to be robots in football uniforms. Your husband is a capitalists. Your husband teacheß them þhat it is alright not to have grandparents, especially ones that live together and have done for 50 years. Of course he knows them inside and out, he created them. They are his robots. I took my boys boating but never made them live in a boat. I have done more with my boys than Oliver will ever do with yours, but you see him exactly how he wants you to see him. As your Mr Perfect. He would not even allow me to change a light switch for you because he wanted you to look to him for ALL your needs. That is why you are in Feniton and not Bridgend with your mum who loves you because you are flesh of her flesh bone of her bone and not a stranger. You are blinded by your love for him, but maybe that is a good thing. Nobody is more blind than those who cannot see. One day you will see.

Rest assured that we will all receive our consequences to our own decisions as adults to cut you out of our lives. No need to keep reminding us of what’s to come in the afterlife, we’ll deal with that when it comes but thank you for all your concerns and out of context scriptures to back these up. We don’t need to work on forgiveness as we’re not holding onto any ill will just the desire to live our lives without tremendous emotional and mental abuse
All insults aside, because that is all you have just done, insult me using words that you must be confident will hurt my feelings. So, you believe that you do not need forgiveness, really. Oh, neither I or your mother is holding onto any ill will either. Why would we.

And there in lies your reward. You will have to experience what you have put your mother and I through in order for you to be able to repent. Cause and effect, a fundamental universal principle. You will reap every rotten fruit you have sown. As sure as day follows night and there will be wailings and washing of teeth in that time. I love you Naomi, I do not want to witness that when it comes to you.
You are a narcissist and will respond to this with lies trying to belittle our memories and make yourself out to be a victim. It’s mundane how repetitive you are. If you’re so happy with mum and so in love, spend some time with her rather than on blogs no one will ever read. You have alienated nearly all of her children away from her so the least you can do is actually spend time with her to fill the voids of her missing out on her children and grandchildren.
You were doing so well, Did Satan walk into the room. We are all narcissist to varying degrees. No, I will not make myself out to be a victim, I am categorically a victim of abusive children, that we know is the truth. We have concluded that we had a fantastic time in raising our children and have achieved in doing what we originally set out to do. Our children were the best that anybody could have hoped for. We loved taking them through the different stages of life, we wanted to give them a secure homes to be raised in, and we did. We loved them unconditionally and cared for them every minute of the day. Only the other day Jenny was saying how wonderful we were as parents, indeed, the only ones complaining is the likes of you, but we are satisfied with our lot. Satisfied that we did the best we could have done and now it is time to stop our children from ruining our end of life experience and enjoy it instead. Only people affiliated with Satan would want to hurt and dishonour their parents so know whose side you are on. You were raised in a Christian home where there remained a constant, unchanging mother and father. All five of you married someone from a broken home who are Alien to abiding love and good principles. Satan is always behind these types of homes and you are now a member in his family and not ours. There is nothing we can do. You have been duped.
Why don’t you just accept that you completely failed as a parent. Accept that there’s no going back. There’s no chance of mending bridges and give us at least one thing unselfishly and leave us all alone!!!
If you believe that a parent can just leave their offspring alone then you do not know what a parent is and you are not a member of that group of wonderful people. You are very bitter but be assured that we will never leave you alone all the time you keep our grandchildren from us. Never. Just that on its own tells the world who you are and it is my duty to expose people like you to the world because we are in a war of good verses evil and you are fighting on the losing side. How very nasty you have become. If you do not like what I write about you then do not read it. It is not for you but is a warning about you to anyone who comes in contact with you. Lastly, I have told you this more than once, I do not lie, I tell the truth as I see it to be otherwise I will say nothing.