We Did Our Best

Khadra, what can I say about my Khadra. She was, as Tim McGraw said in his famous song, “my little girl”, but she broke my heart with her quirky behaviour. She was always concerned about me and my failing health. I remember a time when she was seven or eight. I was laid on my bed listening to music and Khadra came in and laid beside me. It was a hot summers day and a gentle breeze was blowing the net curtains and the ceiling fan light was cooling the room. Khadra wanted to listen to hers, and my, favourite group at the time, The Cranberries. I put on Linger and both of us sang that song at the top of our voices and as loud as the speakers would go, several times. I was so happy I could have been in heaven and still not any happier. It was one of the most joyous times of my life, singing with my daughter. She knew every word and so did I. For someone to say that I was an abusive father when i was so very close to my children is heart rendering and such a lie could only come from the Devil. She was not a perfect child. When we sent her to university, and she stayed away, we were told she became a little promiscuous but i took no notice. If she was i did not want the pain in knowing and I am sure she did not want me to know. When she was to be married she organised everything around me and made sure that everything was to my liking. She is such a pretty empathetic child who loved her parents. I never had an ounce of trouble from her until she got married. She has always been a frightened little girl, who never wants to die or feel pain. She does not like to contend either, but is as stubborn as a mule when she does. She built her own little world around herself and would be just as happy playing on her own as she would in a playground full of children. I do not know what happened to her. She loved Kay and I and did all she could to please us and make us proud, which she did, constantly. Then, one weekend, she went to see her brother in Trowbridge but left his house early, for some unknown reason. When she came back, she literally hated me. I have never been told what caused the change in attitude towards me but her whole demeanor towards me became hostile and antagonistic. Nothing I did or said pleased her and she acted like she was tolerating me for the sake of seeing her mother. She just did not like me anymore. That came hard to me and greatly upset me.
During the course of Hannah’s meddling in our family business and the lies, innuendos and accusations that she was sending me, at Elliott’s bequest, she remained silent. I expected her to chastise Hannah for the way she spoke about her dad, as she would have done before she was married, but instead she colluded with her, even agreeing with her on some imaginary accusations. That was quite soul destroying. I had wrapped her in cotton wool that she tore away and threw at me. Still, I said nothing. I knew how abstract Khadra was so I left her to it. It was important to remain calm and collected as Kay was so attached to her grandchildren, Jonah and Joel, and they to her. They would cry whenever Kay left and would cry to their mum to ask Nan to come and see them. Kay, in turn, doted on them. Khadra’s relationship with me may not have been good but she was fine with Kay. I had some small altercations with Khadra but nothing concerning. Then, literally out of the blue, and with no warning, she sent Kay an email telling her that she wants nothing to do with us, no reason, just exclusion. She said that if we made any attempt to contact her or her children she would call the police, and she did. I wrote to her to ask her why? And the next thing I know the police were on the door. She sent them to us to tell us she wants nothing to do with us. No reason. Another time she tthreatened me with the police for putting a picture of my grandchildren on my Facebook. We had not had a cross word with her. We had not fallen out with her and there was no hostility just an exclusion from her family and from that day until today we have not seen her or our grandchildren. That was so upsetting for Kay. We did not realise that she would be such a bad parent to her children to exclude their Nan and granddad from them. They must have been so confused and upset at suddenly not seeing their Nan anymore. Such a cruel thing to do to your own child. And why?

The only rumour that we heard about her displeasure with us is that she said she did not like the way that I spoke to her siblings, not forgetting, I am her father, but I did not stand in my glass house and throw stones at them. I know how much damage can be made if they threw them back at me. No, I was sat in my home and Hannah started throwing huge bricks at me for literally no reason. All I did was to pick them up and throw them back. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones or bricks. But Khadra just assumed, as my children do, that I picked up the first stone and threw it at Hannah. I did not. She sent me a friends request on Facebook and I naturally accepted. She then attacked me without reason accusing me of being an abusive father to my children. I was not expecting stones in my glass house until the first one hit and completely knocked me off balance. The only difference is that my stones were full of the truth and there’s were full of lies, innuendos and hearsay intended to malign my character. I believe she was a patsy for Satan to discredit me and who I am. Sadly, only Steven backed me. I was bullied on Facebook by Hannah”s friends and family and picked on by my children’s spouses because they believed the lies that were flowing from Hannah’s mouth. One of Satan’s greatest tools is bullying and it happened to me twice in Bridgend Ward. Khadra, who for some reason disliked me at that time, easily believed her and condemned me for defending myself and throwing the stones back.
There is another problem that my children and their spouses are fated with. They make erroneous assumptions and turn them into fact. It is so unproductive and errors in judgement will diminish the accuracy of a guess. Like assuming that dad didn’t want to buy his grandchildren Christmas present so faked Honey having cancer. Like restricting Kay’s use of the debit card when it is in her permanent possession and has been for years. Like Khadra assumed that I did not want Kay spending time with her when Kay will tell a different story. They are fraught with it which causes so many problems for us.
That is it. My much loved grandchildren, Jonah and Joel, torn away from two grandparents that loved them very much because I picked up some stones that were thrown at me and I threw them back. Khadra should have been beside of me, like she was when we sang “Linger” together, picking up the stones that were thrown at her dad and hurling them back. I was devastated, even suicidal at what she had done, my lovely daughter who I peaked over her hosptal crib to see this mop of black hair and a face like a angel on the day she was born had broken my heart into pieces and I do not know why. I am beside myself. I do not know what to do or say. Sometimes the pain is so great I just want to die to get away from it and believe it or not the girl who started all of this does not understand why I am so angry with her. Yes, I know she will have to pay for it in some way, yes I know why Satan wants me destroyed but I did not expect this from my best Friend Elliott. It was him who told Hannah stories that were not true or exaggerated. It was him who allowed her to obliterate his family.
I will never trust Khadra ever again. Our relationship will never be the same as it was before she married. Our grandchildren have probably already forgotten us. I will never forget listening to Kay crying herself to sleep because she cannot believe the cruelty and petulance of our children, each one born out of love and very much wanted. Our end of life experience has been ruined, devastated by good children turned bad through marriage and assumptions turned into untrue facts. I will now kick the dust from my feet with Khadra and cease trying to make amends with her. I have become too tired and worn out trying to resolve it. The olive branch must now come from her. We did nothing wrong other then pick up some stones in our front yard and threw them back from whence they came, literally. We filled our roll as grandparents never influencing them negatively in any way. Where were ready to help Khadra in anything she needed or wanted. We were always their for her. I am concerned that she may have mental issues caused by parenting and marriage that has turned her so nasty. She would have never missed congratulating us on 50 years of successful marriage, as she did so callously and cruelly on 19th January.